I Need help....Day 64 11/12/2011

Today unlike any other was one of the most craziest days ever. First I felt really depressed and guilty for not going to the black college expo because i hear on face book and on my AVID family blogs that everyone was accepted to different colleges on the spot, how they got scholarship and also how they got full rides. And the only thing i did was cry because now i am even more stressed the reason is that  now i am waiting for a letter from Virginia union to know if they are going to accept me. Ugh..... Secondly my mother threw my aunt a birthday dinner party and that was somewhat of a disaster because i had no fun and i felt as if i didn't belong. Finally I'm sitting here listening to my cousins talk about how there going to college in Miami and in New York and the farthest i can go is Virginia. When will i have control of my life without out my parents controlling me all of the time. When!!!!! I need help to stay sane and i  also need to pray because only god knows.